Monday, October 1, 2012

The Next Morning = Chaos

(Read while listening to Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson)

So… the breakup was done, the day was over. Now what?

I got up feeling good, got dressed (looking gorgeous by the way!) and walked to work. My morning was going great, answered emails, greeted people, told my boss my status quo and got coffee. I was surprised of how peaceful I felt. I texted my family to let them know and that when I was ready to talk I would call them, this of course didn’t stop them! The texts came bombarding my phone, of course I answered all of them putting to rest the “when I’m ready I’ll call”.

After maybe 2 hours of unbelievable ease I crashed. I finally realized I was single and things would never be the same. What triggered this? I no longer had to make the “did you get to work okay?” call pressing the redial button on my phone immediately hanging up. All of the sudden my coffee tasted bitter, I looked horrendous and the chirping birds were substituted by a thunderstorm. What was going to be my routine from now on? Who was I going to call during the day? All of the sudden it dawned on me the fact that I was completely alone; no friends, no family and now no boyfriend! Chaos!!

A coworker walked into my office and I just lost it. I cried like I lost a boyfriend, a house, a car, my dog got ran over and I misplaced a check for a billion dollars. I cried from the stomach! My chest was hurting and I couldn’t stop. What an interesting turn out of events right? On my lunch break I decided to put it all aside and go get a PO BOX and forward my address ASAP, that’ll keep me busy and taking care of my unplanned errands. I cried to the post office and back but surprisingly nobody noticed. Score!!! After that I worked listening to the most depressing songs I could find on my Ipod finishing the day with Christmas songs….mind you, it was April!

 I got out of work and felt slightly better. I talked with my sisters and mom. Even in the distance I feel them so close to me, their support unconditional. To my benefit my mom was in New Hampshire visiting my brother and was coming to Boston for the weekend. I made it my goal not to cry when she would visit, I didn’t want her to worry about me.

 That night I promised myself that tomorrow was going to be a better day…

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