Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Lonely Night


(Read while listening Dream by Ray Orbison)

I knew this was going to happen. I knew I was going to have a bad day, in this case a bad night.

I was really busy with two jobs and fixing up my apartment. It was imperative to be busy at all times, I’d get up in the morning watching Friends while getting ready for both jobs and would go to bed reading a new book every couple of days.  One day my system didn’t work.

I usually didn’t work on Friday nights but was asked to work an event at the restaurant for 3 hours so I decided to do it. I had nothing else planned, unless you count season 8 of Friends!! I got to work and set everything up, joked around with my coworkers and actually ran into people I knew at said event. Time went by fast and soon enough I was collecting my tips, leftovers from the event and headed home. The people from work invited me to grab a drink but I just wanted to go home, it had started!

I felt incredibly sad, alone, lonely. My mind made an instant recap of the last three years vs. the last two months, revisiting some great and some horrible memories. I felt so desperate walking home that I felt the urge to get on the train and go to my ex’s apartment. You might be thinking, for what exactly? To this day I have no idea what my motivation was and my intent for even considering that as an option. I ignored those feelings and kept walking home, putting my train card way down in my bag. I change into my pj’s and watched some more Friends, my apartment quiet and dark. I wanted to call my family or a friend but at the same time wanted to go through that on my own. After watching the same episode for the 100th time, I decided to switch to You’ve Got Mail and had a second cupcake. I can’t believe how much I love that movie. I felt better already!

Good Night!

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